DEAR ABBY: My buddy is married to a penny-pincher. He hates spending cash. They’re retired and have sizable belongings. He by no means buys her something for her birthday or takes her out to dinner. He doesn’t purchase her a card on Valentine’s Day, both.
They every personal their very own houses and commute backwards and forwards between them. When he involves her home, she has her fridge stocked. When she goes to his, he has no meals. She should go to the market and purchase meals for each of them. Then he will get offended available in the market about spending cash on meals. He hates eating places as a result of they price cash.
As a result of he’s so low-cost, he goes to the native hospital and buys his dinner from the cafeteria there. They maintain their funds separate, however she feels he ought to do one thing for her for holidays and particular events.
She all the time does good issues for him, like treating him to sporting occasions, dinners, and so on. In the event that they exit with a bunch of individuals, he will get aggravated with splitting the invoice. She’s all the time slipping him cash underneath the desk so he pays his and her share.
At this level, his cheapness is affecting their marriage. Abby, are you able to counsel something to alter a cheapskate husband? He has the sources; he simply doesn’t need to spend any of it. — ASKING FOR A FRIEND
DEAR ASKING: In case your buddy and her husband spent an inexpensive period of time collectively earlier than they married, she will need to have recognized about his “quirk.” He might have a deep-seated worry of poverty. As a result of his penurity has change into more and more laborious for her to reside with, she should communicate up. That their houses and monetary belongings have been stored separate might have been very smart. (You didn’t point out whether or not they’re pleased in different facets of their marriage.)
Counseling may assist — if he’s keen to confess there’s a drawback. If she’s soliciting recommendation from you, counsel she change into much less beneficiant and eat effectively earlier than she arrives at his residence. If his cabinet is naked, he, not she, ought to go to the shop to fill it and even deal with himself to dinner on the hospital cafeteria. Not each partner wants presents however, as a result of she does and he chooses to disregard it, she might have to simply accept they’re two very totally different individuals. Whereas opposites can appeal to, on this case, apparently it isn’t true. What a disgrace.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been a widow for 3 years. There’s a man I’ve recognized for the final eight years, and I’ve had a crush on for a few years. I’m undecided how one can discuss to him about my emotions and I don’t need to destroy our friendship. How can I discuss to him and never destroy our friendship? — FEELING LOST
DEAR FEELING LOST: Do you socialize with this particular person? For those who do, the following time you exit collectively, inform him how a lot you want him and the way particular he’s to you. If he reacts positively, inform him you’ll have a crush on him. Then pay attention. I wouldn’t name that being unduly ahead, but when he runs for the hills, you’ll know your crush shouldn’t be reciprocated. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.